Sawal Jawaab !!!!

Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??



Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )



Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI




Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)

Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)



Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which
movie did he really want to see?



Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!

Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........



Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?



Ans:- adidas

Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls
into the well. Why ?



Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!

Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.



Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??



Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans - D'cold

Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is quite
simple..



Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi

Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi -
Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon?



Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.

Ek aur..

Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par
Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...



Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chorne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha...
Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe

Q13. kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal
chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???



Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai aur
Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???



Ans :- Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha




Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the....bus aai aur Pran chad
jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???



Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye

Q17....Kapil Dev goes to Echo point and shouts loudly "Pamolive" But there dont
come any echo sound why ?




Ans:- Because Palmolive ka jawab nahi !!!

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URLs that went horribly wrong

check this out

ALL REAL


www.NYCAnal.com --------------------------New York Canal
www.GotAHoe.com --------------------------Go Tahoe
www.SpeedoFart.com ---------------------- Speed of Art
www.TheRapistFinder.com ------------------Therapist finder
www.Tranny.org ------------------------------Transfiguration Catholic Church
www.WhorePresents.com ------------------- Who Represents
www.BiGalsOnline.com ----------------------- Big Al's Online
www.PenisLand.net -------------------------- Pen Island
www.ExpertS-exChange.com------------------ Expert Exchange
www.Mp3shits.com-----------------------Sell Mp3s Hits
www.Viagrafix.net-----------------ISP Via Grafix.
www.Regalcock.com--------------- fomer Canadian Parliamentarian website
www.Ipanywhere.com-----------------A software development company that pee anywhere?


try opening thse sites.

NONE ARE PORN

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How to Get Men To Wash Their Hands?

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Who said car-names don't have meaning ?

BMW: Brings Me Women.

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive. ...

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.

KIA: Kills In Accidents

OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life

TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.

GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside

HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away

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Errors in Classifieds

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake...

******
MONDAY: For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

******
TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth's ad yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7 PM."

******
WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7 PM and ask for Mrs.Mani who loves with him.

******
THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

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The Washerman and Donkey

Have you heard the story of "The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey"?

To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story "One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same story…

The washer man (J) was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fund as of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a "meets requirement". Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…

Disclaimer:
All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to any person living or dying of work is purely intentional ;)

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Its a mushroom....!!!

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CONVERSATION IN AN AIRPLANE

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said :

'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger:

'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles..

OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says:

'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies:

'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

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Goat and the Loin

One day a goat with her small child went into forest for food. Unfortunately
They lost their way while returning back to home and were stuck up in the forest at the night.



Suddenly a Big lion came out of the woods and saw the goat and her child and quickly approached them. The frightened goat took her child nearer to her and started praying the gods thinking that lion will definitely eat both of them. Lion came nearer to them but instead of attacking gave them a big smile. He put his hands on the child's head, patted and pampered her and said to the mother goat, "No fear My Dear. I don't have Any sisters so now onwards you are my sister and I am your brother". And he gave chocolates, biscuits to the child and asked the goat to come to his cave for lunch someday. And he promised the goat that "tell me if any one attack you or threaten you". And he left the place. Both the goat and her kid were speechless.

Finally the goat got over her surprise and told her child....
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"I think Elections are coming"

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Before & after Swine Flu

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How to hold on while the train is in motion

How to hold on while the train is in motion in order to avoid falling.



I am referring to the older gentleman by the door!!! But you knew that.

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A Car Accident and A Bottle Of Wine

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.

Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days'..

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.


The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police....'

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't mess with women

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Teacher and Johnny

The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and
what they are used for.

The first pupil said: Panado?

Teacher:- Very good! And what is it used for?

pupil:- It is used for headache.

The second pupil said: Piriton.

Teacher:- Excellent. And what it is used for?

Second Pupil:-To help you sleep.

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: Viagra.

Teacher:-Johnny, What is it used for?

Johnny:- I think it can be used for diarrhea.

Teacher: Who told you this?

Johnny:- Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'take a Viagra, may
be that little shit will get harder'.

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AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLANT JOKE

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Your husband will get ten times what you get. She said, 'That's okay.'

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an
Adonis whom women will flock to'. The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'

So, KAZAM- she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. '

The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like to have a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times 'milder' than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are not smart but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

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Favorite Flower

Once a Hindu, Muslim and our dear Santa Singh are standing when a Britisher comes and asks "Hey guys what are your favorite flowers?
Hindu: "Lotus"
Britisher: "Ha I clean my shit with that!"
Hindu is surprised and angry as lotus being national flower.
Muslim: "Chameli"
Britisher: "Ha I clean my shit with that!"
Muslim also surprised and angry.
Britisher: "sardarji and what is your favorite flower?"
Patriotic Santa: "CACTUS! ab kar le saaf."

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Been Assed

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'?
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass


(__!__) a fat ass


(!) a tight ass


(_*_) a sore ass


{_!_} a swishy ass


(_o_) an ass that's been around


(_x_)kiss my ass


(_X_) leave my ass alone


(_zzz_) a tired ass


(_E=mc2_) a smart ass


(_$_) Money coming out of his ass


(_?_) Dumb Ass

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Story why only Indians are re-born. Hilarious!

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said 'I have to talk to you. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMW's instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep c rouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai (tea).. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!'

The Lord said, 'Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.'

Satan answered the phone, 'Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.' Satan returned to the phone, 'OK I'm back. What can I do for you?'

Gabriel replied, 'I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there.'

Satan says, 'Hold on again. I need to check on something.'
After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, 'I'm back. Now what was the question?'
Gabriel said, 'What kind of problems are you having down there?'
Satan says, 'Man I don't believe this ... Hold on.'
This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now... These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire...fire is there to keep them uncomfortably hot!! Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell...I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai - pakora shop, which I had to stop...I am requesting Lord to send them back on earth as soon as they arrive as re-birth".
Indians will be Indians...

So this is the story why Indians are re-born!!!!!!!

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Indian mind

An Indian man walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Indian man hands over the keys
and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?






The Indian replies:


"Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"



Ah, the mind of the Indian...

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T20 v/s EXAMS.

CRICKET T20 has reached exciting levels with IPL

Introducing

Same thing in EXAMs

Some Suggestion

*Reduce exam duration time to 1 hour and marks to 50

*Introduce strategic break after each 30mins

* Give a free hit, I.e. A chance for students to frame their

Own question paper

*1^st 15mins power play, I.e. No invigilator in the exam hall

*Introduce fair play awards.

*Cheer boys/girls to cheer for every correct answer written.

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Don't copy if you can't paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added:
"And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and Applause

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home.. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went; "ahhhh!" with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing first degree burns from boiling cooking oil.

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

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Think Before You Speak..!!

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...

or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did...

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month- old daughter, she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember
we all say things we don't really mean.


So think before you speak

Cheers!!!!!

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Veg Chicken..

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."
Santa’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara(dear), you are a potato and tomato"!
-- Singh is King...

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Women

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'

Neighbours feared him. They believed he practised black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'

The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig.. I had him buried upside down.'

Damn women - they think of everything!!!!

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Blonde Joke !!!

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for $500.

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an18-carat gold box.

The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a $5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five dollars for?"

"Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you".

He said, "F*** him. Give him five bucks."

She smiled prettily. "The breakfast was my idea."

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The Bathtub Test

> During a visit to the mental hospital, I asked the Doctor,

> 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the hospital.'

> 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we give a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the

patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' I said.

'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

> 'No.' said the Doctor, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug. Well... Do you want a bed near the window?'

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Emraan Hashmi In His Childhood

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Gabbar's Orkut Profile..!!

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wedding night...

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their first wedding night with the young man's parents. In the morning, his mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast including freshly cut flowers from her garden and gourmet food. She went to the bottom of the stairs and called everyone to come down to breakfast. Everyone came down, except the newlyweds.
After a long wait, the family ate without them. The mother said, I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
The groom's young brother said, "Mommy, I think..."
"Oh, shut up. I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.
At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and again called the young couple to eat. Five minutes went by and she called again. After another long wait, the family proceeded to eat. As she was cleaning the table, mother once again said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
Once again, the younger brother started to speak, but mother immediately shut him up. At dinner the same thing happened. After the meal, mothers once again questioned why they had not come down to eat all day. The young lad once again said, "Mommy I think..."
"Well, what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather testily.
"I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last night, he got my model airplane glue instead!"

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payback !!

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast.

They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn’t take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love.

Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, found a new boyfriend, leave me alone.

Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome. He wrote on the back of the photo the following,

Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money and mailed the picture to her parents.

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An Indian Wife's Poem

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The New Nursery Rhyme

Raju Raju sat on the wall
Raju Raju had a great fall
Balance sheet died
Shareholders cried
Raju Raju made a fraud



Raju Raju
Yes baba
Cheating us
No baba
Telling Lies
No baba
Open the balance sheet
HA HA HA

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